Joseph’s Arrival

Another addition to the lil’ dahling klan. My beloved Joseph Yap Zhen Wei was born on 2nd July 2009 at 6.45AM and weighs 3.42kg. Yep, he’s been feeding on my food very well. It’s the beginning of more sleepless nights from now on. But since he’s so adorable, you are forgiven, Joseph..:)

What's cooking?

Starting from this week, I don't have to make porridge for Eliza on weekdays. My babysitter has agreed to do it with the pay raise given. But I would still need to provide the food stuff. One burden lessen? Hmm. Not really. I'll keep worrying whether the babysitter really feeds her the stuff I gave or not.

Eliza has become a little indifferent nowadays. She hates being in her cot and wants someone to accompany her to bed even during naps in the daytime. You really have to spend at least more than an hour accompanying her because she won't fall asleep at once. She'll talk, laugh and roll around here and there on the bed. It can be really time consuming as I have my household chores to do. But how can I complain right? I should appreciate the time when she wants me by her side. When she's a teenager next time, I'm sure she'll be embarrassed to be by my side for fear of being teased by her peers.

On a separate note, these are some of the dishes I cooked last week. You can drop me a comment and hope you enjoy the pictures. My dishes are mostly simple ones. Have to do it quick with a little girl around.

Stir fry spinach with some fish cakes of some sort! LOL

Stir fry choy sum with that fish cake again. Sorry, I can't help it! The husband bought too many. I had to finish cooking it. Still have one more piece in my fridge.

Steamed chicken with herbs and wolfberry

ABC soup with ingredients like spare ribs, potatoes, tomatoes, red onions and carrots.

Stir fry yau mak choy with yes, you've seen it right, that fish cake thingy again!

Fried Ma Yau/Ikan kurau/English Threadfin with soya sauce. Me trying to brag about this particular fish name since I know the name of it in 3 languages. Don't ask me about other fishes..;)

That's all folks!

Daddykins

Yesterday about 4PM, my friend Michelle called and asked whether dinner was confirmed. I was a little perplexed to give a firm answer. My husband already told me that he will be working at home over the weekend and his sister is coming up to stay at our place temporarily until she is stable with her new job. I felt bad because I forgot that he will be busy over the weekend and already promised to meet up my friends. But at last, he allowed me to go and said he will attend to Eliza himself.

So off I went to pick Michelle up at Capitol Hotel and we went to Mid Valley to have dinner there with Agnes also. The husband called me while I was having my dinner halfway to see whether I've reached safely in Mid Valley. Then I asked him about Eliza and he told me that she refused to sleep even though he followed my bedtime routine. I got worried but he said he will do what he can but still asked me to come home early if possible.

While I was driving back home, I send him a text message and he told me that Eliza just slept not long before. The time was 10.18PM. When I got home of course I want to hear the story from him. He told me that he had to accompany her to sleep. He patted her to sleep and when he stopped she squirmed and was angry. So he had to pat her until she really fell fast alseep. Then only he was able to transfer her back into her cot. On one hand, I'm worried that this will be a continued habit and I have to accompany her everyday until she sleeps then only I can do my own chores. But on the other hand, I'm absolutely proud of the husband. He handled her pretty well I must say.

Another story

This post was suppose to be for last week. My friend encouraged me to write about it since she said it's therapy. The day after that horrendous night, I was so anxious to put lil' dahling to sleep again. I did the bedtime routine but after reading story book, she already anticipated what was going to happen next. So she quickly jumped down from my lap and walked away. She knew I was going to put her into her cot. She seemed to be avoiding sleep and seemed to be afraid of something. My guess is the insect she spotted on her blanket which left her in a screaming and crying fit. Scared the bejammers out of me. I then persuaded and persuaded her to get into bed. Telling her there's nothing to be afraid about but she kept shaking her head. I really lost my control. I think I was near insanity. I stomped out of the room and drop on the dining chair and sobbed uncontrollably. Lil' dahling tailed me and I think she was quite surprised and yet continued talking to me. She even took her little red dog(Patrick) and put on the table, beside my elbow. She also tapped my arm a few times, calling after me. With tears still streaming down my face, I picked up my phone and dialled for my husband. With a very controlled voice I asked him what time he will he come home. He gave me a vague answer and asked me how is lil' dahling doing. Upon hearing that I shouted at him and told him that she refused to go to bed and I've lost all wits already. He sounded afraid and promised to come home at once.

I mustered myself and went into the kitchen to prepare only 2 fl oz of milk. Lil dahling already looked so tired but she just pretended to be active. A mother knows. She followed me into the room and I fed her. She drank it finish to my surprise. And I lifted her up and put her in her cot. Again she just obeyed and turned to her side to hug her pillow. She closed her eyes at once. I tiptoed out of the room, close the door behind me leaving a little gap. I was so relieved! I came back to check a few minutes later and her position didn't change at all. She was finally asleep. Hey, maybe my tears worked after all. Do I really need to cry everyday? LOL. Alright, therapy session over.

Opps! She did it again..

Damn it! I said it too soon. Yesterday was the worst night. My Eliza woke up crying in the middle of the night at 1.10AM. I was dead tired. You know the feeling like you've just fallen asleep a few minutes ago and suddenly you have to wake up. That very tiring feeling. Feels like the heart was so heavy. Anyway, I fed her milk but she only drank like only 1 and half fl. oz. Made my heart boiled to a degree of 200 degree Celcius me thinks. Then I just left her in her cot to fall asleep by herself. She seemed alright with it so I fell asleep the moment my head touches the pillow. And then she did it again! She cried again at 2 plus. And I made her finish her milk which she did surprisingly. Very fickle minded la this girl. Then I put her back in her cot. Guess what? At 3 plus again she cried but not loud this time. More like persuasive cry (the 'manja' type). I ignored her actually, too lazy to get up although I could sniff a nasty pong. I finally decided to get up and check on her and true enough, she poohed at an untimely hour. Eeee. Cleaned her up and the husband also helped me. Poor daddy couldn't sleep properly after being woken up so many times. Then she was so alert already, she refused to go back into her cot. She wants to sleep on our bed. The little tike! As usual when I put her between us she always likes to kick me. I don't know why? I couldn't sleep and end up scolding and scolding her. I even switched places with the husband. But even with the switching of places, she still kicked me! What is wrong with her ah? I'm really confused and on the way of becoming a lunatic. I don't know how I finally fell asleep maybe because I was so tired. But then again, even on our bed this time she cried again at 4 plus. Every hour can you imagine? Her daddy was begging for her to give us a break. I really really don't know what's the reason this time. She was doing a lot of actions like tossing and turning, sitting up and then she curled up. It's like she doesn't know what to do. Guess what I have to end up doing? I carried her in my arms and pat her to sleep. She stopped crying but started to cry again when I was about to put her back either in her cot or place her on our bed. Smart ass I tell you! I thought she was sleeping? I couldn't stand in the end for it seemed like eternity. I forced her to lie on our bed and hug her tightly, patting every once in a while. I had to place my hand on her chest you know? Once I lift it up she wanted to cry again. Grrr.. I think I didn't sleep long enough for my alarm clock rang at 5.30AM. I was too tired to get up so I slept in and only woke at about 6.00AM to cook Eliza's porridge. The husband told me that she cried while I was cooking her porridge again. You know what was the reason? She was angry because I covered her with her blanket before I left the room and she hates to be covered. So her daddy had to pull away the covers and she continued sleeping. What a queen! Queen Elizabeth.

So sleepy today but had work to do. I thought I could steal some 40 winks in office today. But didn't manage to. I think I look like a zombie today and probably going to fall asleep while driving on my way home again.

No one told me...

No one told me...

1. breastfeeding is like going for a battle. You have to psyched yourself up. Prepare yourself mentally and physically. Study the weapons, learn the strategies and above all must be confident and courageous. Sounds like a tough job right? Well, it definitely wasn't easy for me.

2. that I would regret starting the pacifier on Eliza for I sure don't know how to stop her now. LOL. Before I put her to bed and she sees me taking the pacifier, she'll laugh happily. Once the pacifier is in her mouth, she becomes a happy camper.

3. I would change into a patient mother even though my baby cry for hours on end. And treat those cries as if she was singing. (However, after 18 months of motherhood, once in a blue moon the streak of impatientness comes creeping back on me)

4. interrupted sleep is like having no sleep at all. You find yourself nodding your head while driving on the way to work and back. When can I have my peaceful sleep again?

5. I would wake up even of the slightest sound coming from the baby cot. I used to sleep like a log. No fire or tornado can stir me from my sleep. I used to also sleep with a pillow covering my ear. Now, I have to get used to just hugging it to sleep. Sob, sob.

6. I will have the urge to strangle my husband when he asked me in the morning, "Did the baby wake up to drink milk in the middle of the night?" even though the baby cried like she could bring down the house before I stuffed her mouth with the feeding bottle.

7. how cranky a baby can be when she is sick. And how I can manage to wake up every half an hour just to check her temperature and diligently sponge her body.

8. that a baby can tell lies. This shows that the saying, "a child tells no lie" is not true. It's astounding how an 18 months old baby can say, "mm mm" (which means she wants to pooh) while pointing to her butt and I rushed to carry her out of the cot only to find out that there's no pooh in her diapers. She ran off squeling in delight and then only it dawned on me that I was being tricked by a cunning baby who only wanted to be released from her "cell".

9. I will miss my baby more than my husband now. Poor husband. But I think he miss Eliza more than me also. Tit for tat.

10. it is ALL WORTH IT.

Time flies

Finally I have a blog. I've never thought I would blog one day. lol. This is my first post so be kind to me ok? lol.

I feel so old suddenly. Time flies and I can't believe that I'm already a mother for 1 year and 4 months. It seems like it was just yesterday lil' dahling came into my world. I remember how the nurse held her up when I just delivered her and she was crying weakly. She looked purple and I'm like thinking are newborn babies suppose to look like that? I remember my husband was at my side telling me, "Look finally our baby has come into this world. Baby so cute. So teeny tiny." I was so tired, weak and numbed. I just smiled to her when the nurse brought her closer. I was quite blur at that time and suddenly I realized the nurse took her out of the labour room. I told my husband, "Quick! Follow them. If not we'll lose our baby. Who knows if they exchange our baby with someone else's" I know I know I'm paranoid. Maybe I watched too many korean or hk dramas. lol.

Fast forward and now she's already 1 year and 4 months old. She really mean the world to me. Although she can be pain in the ass every once in a while. Yesterday I totally lost my cool on her which i seldom do. Even her papa said, "Uh oh by, mommy so love you can also get angry with you. How?" For the past 2 days she didn't want to drink her milk. She cried like as if I'm feeding her poison. It's so frustrating. Is her teeth growing again? I dunno. Does the milk taste like shit? I don't think so. It got to a point where I kept forcing her which isn't good right? heee..I know I'm guilty. She cried as loud as her voice box could allow her. The first night, I could still control myself. Felt so wasted to throw away the milk. Eliza, you made me angry because you don't want to drink your millk, milk is good for you and you wasted my damn MONEY! Milk is expensive dahling! Yesterday night, after attempting to feed her, I dumped the bottle on the table and raised my voice a bit at my poor husband. I told him to throw the milk and let him know i felt throwing the milk away. I was a bit psycho that time. He was like eh?? I vent my anger on him and he was the victim. I blamed it on him. Fortunately, he was a darling and came to comfort me later. Lil' dahling didn't even have a clue i was fuming away. She was fast asleep with her mouth open. Then today morning I tried to feed her milk again. Again she rejected me. Oh that was the last straw. I beat her thigh 3 times but it wasn't that hard. But enough to make me feel bad afterwards. She knows I was mad at her. She didn't want her papa to carry her. She only want me to come and 'pujuk' her. I ignore her at first. I was putting on makeup, preparing for work. She came to my side pretending like nothing happen, talking her baby language, trying to 'manja' with me. I told her to go away and she sat down on the floor and cry. Wah, nowadays babies are really smart huh? I succumbed to her cries in the end and picked her up. With guilty look she looked at me then turned away. Her papa wanted to carry her because I haven't finish putting on my makeup but lil' dahling just cling to me tightly. She only wants her mommy. Awww..isn't it touching?

I love you Elizabeth Yap Yi Wen.

You better drink your milk tonight..or else...