Time flies

Finally I have a blog. I've never thought I would blog one day. lol. This is my first post so be kind to me ok? lol.

I feel so old suddenly. Time flies and I can't believe that I'm already a mother for 1 year and 4 months. It seems like it was just yesterday lil' dahling came into my world. I remember how the nurse held her up when I just delivered her and she was crying weakly. She looked purple and I'm like thinking are newborn babies suppose to look like that? I remember my husband was at my side telling me, "Look finally our baby has come into this world. Baby so cute. So teeny tiny." I was so tired, weak and numbed. I just smiled to her when the nurse brought her closer. I was quite blur at that time and suddenly I realized the nurse took her out of the labour room. I told my husband, "Quick! Follow them. If not we'll lose our baby. Who knows if they exchange our baby with someone else's" I know I know I'm paranoid. Maybe I watched too many korean or hk dramas. lol.

Fast forward and now she's already 1 year and 4 months old. She really mean the world to me. Although she can be pain in the ass every once in a while. Yesterday I totally lost my cool on her which i seldom do. Even her papa said, "Uh oh by, mommy so love you can also get angry with you. How?" For the past 2 days she didn't want to drink her milk. She cried like as if I'm feeding her poison. It's so frustrating. Is her teeth growing again? I dunno. Does the milk taste like shit? I don't think so. It got to a point where I kept forcing her which isn't good right? heee..I know I'm guilty. She cried as loud as her voice box could allow her. The first night, I could still control myself. Felt so wasted to throw away the milk. Eliza, you made me angry because you don't want to drink your millk, milk is good for you and you wasted my damn MONEY! Milk is expensive dahling! Yesterday night, after attempting to feed her, I dumped the bottle on the table and raised my voice a bit at my poor husband. I told him to throw the milk and let him know i felt throwing the milk away. I was a bit psycho that time. He was like eh?? I vent my anger on him and he was the victim. I blamed it on him. Fortunately, he was a darling and came to comfort me later. Lil' dahling didn't even have a clue i was fuming away. She was fast asleep with her mouth open. Then today morning I tried to feed her milk again. Again she rejected me. Oh that was the last straw. I beat her thigh 3 times but it wasn't that hard. But enough to make me feel bad afterwards. She knows I was mad at her. She didn't want her papa to carry her. She only want me to come and 'pujuk' her. I ignore her at first. I was putting on makeup, preparing for work. She came to my side pretending like nothing happen, talking her baby language, trying to 'manja' with me. I told her to go away and she sat down on the floor and cry. Wah, nowadays babies are really smart huh? I succumbed to her cries in the end and picked her up. With guilty look she looked at me then turned away. Her papa wanted to carry her because I haven't finish putting on my makeup but lil' dahling just cling to me tightly. She only wants her mommy. Awww..isn't it touching?

I love you Elizabeth Yap Yi Wen.

You better drink your milk tonight..or else...