No one told me...

No one told me...

1. breastfeeding is like going for a battle. You have to psyched yourself up. Prepare yourself mentally and physically. Study the weapons, learn the strategies and above all must be confident and courageous. Sounds like a tough job right? Well, it definitely wasn't easy for me.

2. that I would regret starting the pacifier on Eliza for I sure don't know how to stop her now. LOL. Before I put her to bed and she sees me taking the pacifier, she'll laugh happily. Once the pacifier is in her mouth, she becomes a happy camper.

3. I would change into a patient mother even though my baby cry for hours on end. And treat those cries as if she was singing. (However, after 18 months of motherhood, once in a blue moon the streak of impatientness comes creeping back on me)

4. interrupted sleep is like having no sleep at all. You find yourself nodding your head while driving on the way to work and back. When can I have my peaceful sleep again?

5. I would wake up even of the slightest sound coming from the baby cot. I used to sleep like a log. No fire or tornado can stir me from my sleep. I used to also sleep with a pillow covering my ear. Now, I have to get used to just hugging it to sleep. Sob, sob.

6. I will have the urge to strangle my husband when he asked me in the morning, "Did the baby wake up to drink milk in the middle of the night?" even though the baby cried like she could bring down the house before I stuffed her mouth with the feeding bottle.

7. how cranky a baby can be when she is sick. And how I can manage to wake up every half an hour just to check her temperature and diligently sponge her body.

8. that a baby can tell lies. This shows that the saying, "a child tells no lie" is not true. It's astounding how an 18 months old baby can say, "mm mm" (which means she wants to pooh) while pointing to her butt and I rushed to carry her out of the cot only to find out that there's no pooh in her diapers. She ran off squeling in delight and then only it dawned on me that I was being tricked by a cunning baby who only wanted to be released from her "cell".

9. I will miss my baby more than my husband now. Poor husband. But I think he miss Eliza more than me also. Tit for tat.

10. it is ALL WORTH IT.

Long weekend

Last weekend was a long weekend because it was a public holiday on Monday. It was an eventful one also. Thank God for that. My weekend started with one tiny baby voice on a beautiful Saturday morning. I opened my eyes slowly and turned to smile towards that voice. I practically dragged my feet out of the bed, went to wash up and prepare the water for Lil' Dahling to bathe. Bathing time is more fun for Eliza nowadays. When I tell her she's done and it's time to get out of the bathtub, she'll shake her head vigorously and show signs of displeasure. She'll also turn her back on me and I have to give her some more time. Usually after the time allowance then she'll be more co-operative the second time around. Can you imagine she is already doing some negotiation skills with me at this age? Then it's rush time. Husband, you do this! I'll do that! Cos we're rushing for appointment with Eliza's doctor. Immunization again, her 1st booster for DPT and Polio vaccine. We had about 20 minutes before the appointment so we gobbled up our breakfast at a shop nearby. While we were waiting for our turn at the doctor's, Eliza went to the play area and played away. When her name was called, she seems to know that she's in for something not good. She cried when the nurse wanted to get her height measurement. Being very naughty and difficult. The nurse gave up and look like I've to measure her myself at home. Sigh, extra work. The only thing she was willing to let us find out is her weight. She weights 10.04kg now. When the nurse beckoned us into the doctor's room, Eliza walked slower than her usual speed and kept staring at the doctor. Haha. The doctor responded by saying,"oh, you know we are not good people huh?" The toy dog trick didn't work for her now. She didn't even bother to look at the dog and started crying and kicking. Luckily the doctor was fast and I didn't even realize he already jabbed her. The doctor was asking us whether we have decided to give Eliza the chicken pox and hepatitis A injection and I said no. I'm still contemplating whether to go for it or not. Hmmm..

Finally we can go home. Eliza needs her morning nap also. We took her swimming in the evening. I took out her swimming suit and showed her but she shaked her head refusing to wear it. I still forced her to wear anyway..hehe. She looks quite sexy in it cos it's getting tighter. LOL. Luckily I have 2 other swimsuits for her. Then I took out the float from the store room and the moment she saw her float, she flapped her arms and ran towards the door. She couldn't wait to enter the pool and this time she did not cry because of the cold water. She enjoyed screaming and kicking in the pool. She can be quite a loud speaker I tell you.

We had to stop swimming cos we had a dinner date planned. I asked her whether she wants to wear her black shoes and she shaked her head frantically. I asked her whether she wants to wear her white shoes and she just said, "shoe, shoe." That's a yes I guess. I didn't know she knows how to choose now. Even my friends were surprised that she knows how to choose at this age. We went to Gohtong Jaya for dinner with friends and my brother in-law and his family. The place is on the way up to Genting Highlands. After our fulfiling dinner(because I was damn hungry!) we went up to Genting Highlands. The guys played video games and I was busy clicking my handphone away (forgot to bring my camera of all things). Eliza was running here and there. It's hard to keep up with her these days now that she's in the terrible twos stage.

We decided to get some fresh cool air after that. So we headed to the park outside and just sat at the bench to drink. As you can guess it, we couldn't sit for long. Chasing after Eliza can really burn a lot of calories. She just kept running even though it is already close to midnight. She fell asleep in the car on our way back home. That's when at least I can rest.;)

Eliza woke me up about 6 in the morning for milk. I was so tired from the night before. So after feeding her, I crashed back on my bed and left her to talk all by herself in her cot. She went on and on in her "Thai" language while I was slowly drifting off to dreamland again. When I suddenly woke up she was already asleep. It was more of a rest day today. I also found out that Eliza is starting to pay attention to Barney's programme when it's on TV. Oh no, you know how i despise that purple monster. Eliza seems to be attracted to it because it has dancing and singing. She also counts 1 to 5 now but still needs to practice her diction. Hers sounds like wan, too, tee, por, paieeee.

Monday was a public holiday so we went shopping at Mid Valley. Met a friend and his wife there. They brought along their 3 month old daughter. We met them again for dinner. Went to a western diner. It was a good dinner although Eliza had me running after her around the restaurant. We went home after dinner and I tucked Eliza in bed. We were minding our business and suddenly about 10:20PM, we felt tremors and as if we were swaying left to right. My husband quickly picked Eliza and we went down the building. Eliza was already sleeping. Many of the residents in my condo also went down for safety. Who wouldn't be afraid after the cyclone Nargis in Myanmar and Sichuan earthquake? It was confirmed later that several areas in the Klang Valley felt tremors following an earthquake off North Sumatra. Fortunately, the earthquake measuring 6.1 on the Richter scale did not pose a tsunami threat.

That was the quite eventful weekend and I'm looking forward for this weekend too. Planning to bring the whole family to Sunway Lagoon. Shall keep everyone posted. Sorry for the long absence. Have a great weekend guys!

Listen or talk?

You know I used to talk a lot more than listening. But as I'm not as confident as I used to be before. I realized that I'm listening more than talking.

One of my colleague really liked people listening to him. So much so that when we purposely make as if we're not interested, he politely excuse himself and make a move. Isn't that weird? Why must we always listen to you? He should learn to listen to us also right? Sigh.

Then I have another colleague who listen as much as he talks. This sounds fine. But what if he passed everything he listened to nearly everyone he bumps into or deliberately bumped into. I mean, I love him as a dear friend and colleague but sometimes he really cross the line. I told him something and made him promise not to tell even though I know he has a history of being the gossip king. He was having a tiff with his own boss. So when he heard that his boss said something bad about my boss, he used it as a ticket to destruction. His big mouth couldn't be controlled and he excitedly told my boss about it. Of course my boss was not too happy about it and it created a nasty situation between the two bosses. There were some heated argument that ensued. I found out that he was the one who let the cat out of the bag. I was so disappointed and angry with him. I confronted him and he admitted but something was disturbing me. There was not even an apology and not even a look of remorse on his face! After analyzing, I think he won't stop spreading anything he listens. I will try to remember not to tell him secrets anymore.

So if a person listens as much as he or she talks, it is not always a good thing. It is tempting to spread a rumour or secret. I am also guilty for letting words slip out of my mouth also sometimes. A promise is a promise. So if I'm made to promise I will try to keep it to myself. And a lesson learnt, not to spread to untrustworthy people. Otherwise, if I'm not made to promise. I will probably spread it like wild fire..;)

Friends I have a few...

Do you feel like you've reached a point in life where you're lazy to make new friends anymore? I sometimes have that feeling. Maybe I'm kind of an anti-social person. And I feel like a hypocrite trying to be friendly just because that person is my neighbour. But in reality, I don't even have the intention to know more about my neighbour.

We have gone through so many phases in our lives. Friends come and friends go. Some are here to stay. I remember my childhood friends. One of them is a boy and used to be my neighbour. We even bathe together before. Thinking about it just embarrasses me. I hope he doesn't remember this at all. I've lost touched with him since he migrated to Australia when we were 14 years old. My another childhood friend is a girl and also used to be my neighbour. We still keep in touch after many years but don't meet as often anymore since everyone is busy with their own life. We're always proud to let other people know that we're childhood friends and are still good friends until now. It's not easy to keep this friendship until now. It is the initiative and also fate because even though we went to different school in secondary school but we still go to the same art class and piano class. Later she moved to another area we still meet each other once in a while especially during our schools' girl guide's campfire. And as fate put it, we continued our studies at the same college after our SPM in Sunway College. That's the childhood friend.

When I was in primary school, I had a best friend. We started to become close when our class teacher did the seating arrangement and we ended up sitting beside each other. Her aunt's house was nearby mine and she used to stay at her aunt's house every weekend. That's when she started to frequently visit me on Fridays after school. We would play with our Barbie dolls and play "masak-masak". We were so close that my parents even took her along for one of our road trips to Tanjung Bidara. In school, I was nicknamed her "shadow" by teachers because we were always together every where we went. I can't really remember what happened. Maybe a misunderstanding took place and classmates were saying she is a bad influence to me that drove our friendship apart. We started to drift away from each other in secondary school. Moreover, she went to another class in Form 2. We haven't met for years but once in a blue moon we would still text each other. That's the ex best friend.

Now it's the secondary school phase. I have a few close friends and also a new best friend. She sat with me in Form 2 and we became close and share a few things in common like learning ballet. I liked her a lot and I thought she would be my new best friend but then I found out something which made my impression of her changed forever. She went for a course and met a classmate there and told this classmate not to tell me that she went for that course. And this classmate happens to be my best friend now. How ironic isn't it? Anyway, I felt betrayed because she wasn't honest with me. This shows how selfish she is and how ugly she is inside. I couldn't quite look her in the eye like how I used to do. Somehow she switched places with another close friend of mine and that was the end of it. We became like normal friends. That was also the ex best friend.

I think the secondary school phase is where you start to meet more friends and some of them would remain your friend for life. After I "dumped" my 2nd ex best friend I got closer to 2 friends. We were everywhere together so much so that people called us 3 stooges. Both of them were my new best friends. Again one of them remained my best friend until now..:) This time this friendship lasted the longest and I thought all 3 of us would stick together. But alas, not everything lasts forever right? After our SPM, my best friend stayed on to continue with STPM but I went to college with the other friend. Although we went to college together but our friendship went through a lot of ups and downs. The downs left a heavy mark in our hearts and I guess it is hard to patch a broken heart. Even though it's patched, there are still cracks. The friendship isn't the same anymore. It became so pretentious and forced.

Please don't think that I've ever regret any of these that has happened. In fact, I'm thankful and comfortable with my two best friends now. Although she stayed on to continue with STPM and we were separated by distance, we never lost touch. We also missed each other a lot. We can talk about anything under the sun and there will be laughters whenever we met. I really think that it was fate that brought us together. I never expected or knew but it just happened. From the first time we met during primary school. She was in school 2 and I was in school 1. We used to meet each other while passing by (and no I'm not going to mention that pom pom thingy ok?). Always exchanging friendly smiles. I got to know her really well in secondary school. And we've been best friends ever since. We have our fair share of laughter and misunderstandings. I can't remember how many times we have misunderstandings but it was plenty. She was the moody one and I was the irritating one. We are like normal teenagers with sweet memories talking non-stop in class while the teacher is teaching, always finding things to laugh, talking on the phone after school even though it's past midnight and our moms start to nag, watch rented video tapes at my house, go tuition together, pyjama parties and so many more. Our friendship really stood the test of time. Even until now we chat nearly everyday. It's become like an addiction or a habit. She is very generous and thoughtful. Always encourage and support me. Even gets angry if someone bully or made me angry. She is the one that makes me feel very comfortable just being with her. If you are reading this, you know who you are, my dear, I want to thank you for standing by me all through these years.

I'm blessed to have another kind and generous friend whom I met in college. We just click and she's one of the most thoughtful friend I've ever met. Also gets angry if someone bullies or made me angry. LOL. Even though our days together seemed short lived but we still have sweet memories together. She used to come over to my hostel apartment and spend time with me and my other apartment mates. We even had a triple birthday celebration because our birthdays are close to each other. We also went to the prom together. Not forgetting she's always the middle person who knows some guys who are interested in me. I pity her, the mental torture she has to go through listening to them..haha. When we left the college, I continued my studies in another college and she went back to KK. Still she calls often until her phone bill rocketed. She then left to another country and we have never met for about 10 years already. Still I'm proud to say that even with the distance and time difference, we still managed to keep our precious friendship. We also chat nearly everyday. It's like a habitual action already. Haha. If we don't chat then it's like a part of us is missing in our lives. Even though by just keeping in touch through mails, e-mails or phone, she has been a great support through my lowest point in life. I really miss her a lot and I really hope to meet her someday one day! Thank you for being a very special friend to me and being a part in my simple life.

When we really put an effort to keep in touch that means that friendship means a lot. Don't you think? I also believe that when you have just a few trusted and faithful friends that stick with you and never lost touch, it's good enough then having such a wide circle of friends that are not faithful and don't even bother to keep up the friendship. I don't feel lonely and I don't feel the need to keep making new friends because I know I have enough...Amen to that!