Friends I have a few...

Do you feel like you've reached a point in life where you're lazy to make new friends anymore? I sometimes have that feeling. Maybe I'm kind of an anti-social person. And I feel like a hypocrite trying to be friendly just because that person is my neighbour. But in reality, I don't even have the intention to know more about my neighbour.

We have gone through so many phases in our lives. Friends come and friends go. Some are here to stay. I remember my childhood friends. One of them is a boy and used to be my neighbour. We even bathe together before. Thinking about it just embarrasses me. I hope he doesn't remember this at all. I've lost touched with him since he migrated to Australia when we were 14 years old. My another childhood friend is a girl and also used to be my neighbour. We still keep in touch after many years but don't meet as often anymore since everyone is busy with their own life. We're always proud to let other people know that we're childhood friends and are still good friends until now. It's not easy to keep this friendship until now. It is the initiative and also fate because even though we went to different school in secondary school but we still go to the same art class and piano class. Later she moved to another area we still meet each other once in a while especially during our schools' girl guide's campfire. And as fate put it, we continued our studies at the same college after our SPM in Sunway College. That's the childhood friend.

When I was in primary school, I had a best friend. We started to become close when our class teacher did the seating arrangement and we ended up sitting beside each other. Her aunt's house was nearby mine and she used to stay at her aunt's house every weekend. That's when she started to frequently visit me on Fridays after school. We would play with our Barbie dolls and play "masak-masak". We were so close that my parents even took her along for one of our road trips to Tanjung Bidara. In school, I was nicknamed her "shadow" by teachers because we were always together every where we went. I can't really remember what happened. Maybe a misunderstanding took place and classmates were saying she is a bad influence to me that drove our friendship apart. We started to drift away from each other in secondary school. Moreover, she went to another class in Form 2. We haven't met for years but once in a blue moon we would still text each other. That's the ex best friend.

Now it's the secondary school phase. I have a few close friends and also a new best friend. She sat with me in Form 2 and we became close and share a few things in common like learning ballet. I liked her a lot and I thought she would be my new best friend but then I found out something which made my impression of her changed forever. She went for a course and met a classmate there and told this classmate not to tell me that she went for that course. And this classmate happens to be my best friend now. How ironic isn't it? Anyway, I felt betrayed because she wasn't honest with me. This shows how selfish she is and how ugly she is inside. I couldn't quite look her in the eye like how I used to do. Somehow she switched places with another close friend of mine and that was the end of it. We became like normal friends. That was also the ex best friend.

I think the secondary school phase is where you start to meet more friends and some of them would remain your friend for life. After I "dumped" my 2nd ex best friend I got closer to 2 friends. We were everywhere together so much so that people called us 3 stooges. Both of them were my new best friends. Again one of them remained my best friend until now..:) This time this friendship lasted the longest and I thought all 3 of us would stick together. But alas, not everything lasts forever right? After our SPM, my best friend stayed on to continue with STPM but I went to college with the other friend. Although we went to college together but our friendship went through a lot of ups and downs. The downs left a heavy mark in our hearts and I guess it is hard to patch a broken heart. Even though it's patched, there are still cracks. The friendship isn't the same anymore. It became so pretentious and forced.

Please don't think that I've ever regret any of these that has happened. In fact, I'm thankful and comfortable with my two best friends now. Although she stayed on to continue with STPM and we were separated by distance, we never lost touch. We also missed each other a lot. We can talk about anything under the sun and there will be laughters whenever we met. I really think that it was fate that brought us together. I never expected or knew but it just happened. From the first time we met during primary school. She was in school 2 and I was in school 1. We used to meet each other while passing by (and no I'm not going to mention that pom pom thingy ok?). Always exchanging friendly smiles. I got to know her really well in secondary school. And we've been best friends ever since. We have our fair share of laughter and misunderstandings. I can't remember how many times we have misunderstandings but it was plenty. She was the moody one and I was the irritating one. We are like normal teenagers with sweet memories talking non-stop in class while the teacher is teaching, always finding things to laugh, talking on the phone after school even though it's past midnight and our moms start to nag, watch rented video tapes at my house, go tuition together, pyjama parties and so many more. Our friendship really stood the test of time. Even until now we chat nearly everyday. It's become like an addiction or a habit. She is very generous and thoughtful. Always encourage and support me. Even gets angry if someone bully or made me angry. She is the one that makes me feel very comfortable just being with her. If you are reading this, you know who you are, my dear, I want to thank you for standing by me all through these years.

I'm blessed to have another kind and generous friend whom I met in college. We just click and she's one of the most thoughtful friend I've ever met. Also gets angry if someone bullies or made me angry. LOL. Even though our days together seemed short lived but we still have sweet memories together. She used to come over to my hostel apartment and spend time with me and my other apartment mates. We even had a triple birthday celebration because our birthdays are close to each other. We also went to the prom together. Not forgetting she's always the middle person who knows some guys who are interested in me. I pity her, the mental torture she has to go through listening to them..haha. When we left the college, I continued my studies in another college and she went back to KK. Still she calls often until her phone bill rocketed. She then left to another country and we have never met for about 10 years already. Still I'm proud to say that even with the distance and time difference, we still managed to keep our precious friendship. We also chat nearly everyday. It's like a habitual action already. Haha. If we don't chat then it's like a part of us is missing in our lives. Even though by just keeping in touch through mails, e-mails or phone, she has been a great support through my lowest point in life. I really miss her a lot and I really hope to meet her someday one day! Thank you for being a very special friend to me and being a part in my simple life.

When we really put an effort to keep in touch that means that friendship means a lot. Don't you think? I also believe that when you have just a few trusted and faithful friends that stick with you and never lost touch, it's good enough then having such a wide circle of friends that are not faithful and don't even bother to keep up the friendship. I don't feel lonely and I don't feel the need to keep making new friends because I know I have enough...Amen to that!