My Heart Still Aches

I don't even know how to start this post. I've been away from my blog because I've been too devastated, too down and I'm not in the mood for it. But a very close friend of mine suggested blogging about it might be a good way to express and maybe feel better after it. It has been 21 days since the passing of my dearest father. It's very hard for all of us to accept and even until now I can't believe that he has gone.

How do we all live without you, daddy? I am fortunate to have my children to dote upon. But what about my mother? She has been hit the hardest. I don't know how long it will take for her to recover. I don't blame her for she has lost her pillar of strength. Not a day goes by that I find myself thinking about my dad. How can we just simply forget him when he has touched our lives so much with his kindness and tenderness. I miss him so very much. I miss his smile, I miss talking to him, I miss his voice, I miss his cooking, I miss how he wave goodbye to me, I miss having him around..I just miss everything about him.

I am thankful that I managed to spend time with him before he left us. I also hugged and kissed him. The only thing I regret is I did not say "I love you, daddy" and I did not get to see his last breath even though we were all by his bedside. I also did not get to bring him to Penang. I hope you know how much I love you, daddy and I know that you are now in Heaven with the Lord, free from all your sufferrings. Life has to move on for us even though you are deeply missed. You are one tough person, daddy..battling it for 6 years. I know it's because you know mommy needs you, you want to see us longer, be with your grandchildren longer. I am very proud of you daddy and I will never forget how you've been the best father in the whole world to me. You've always been so caring, understanding and patient.

And even though my heart still aches, how I wish you are still with us, I have to tell myself that you are at a better place. I know you're shining down on us from Heaven. May the Good Lord bless and keep you till we meet again one sweet day.

Dad's 73rd Birthday

My beloved dad celebrated his 73rd birthday on the 26th February 2011. His birthday fell on a Saturday, so we went back to Malacca to celebrate it for him. Secretly, I know he would not say it but I can sense that he was extremely happy that we could come back to Malacca and celebrate his birthday this year. All of us didn't want to be reminded especially my mom that we couldn't celebrate his birthday last year because he had a major surgery to undergo. And it's just a blessing that after one year, we could continue to celebrate his birthday and hopefully for many many more wonderful years to come.

Looking at my Daddy (as I would always call him), I can't help but be overwhelmed with pride. For what my Daddy had to go through and how many times he wanted to give up, he still pulled it through. He is really a strong man like how my hubby always describe him. My husband said not many people are that courageous to accept it and go through it like my dad. And for that, I'm very proud of my Daddy. Do you know what was the drive that made my dad to never give up? It was his family. He knows that we all still need him and he still can't get enough of his grand children.

My Daddy has always been kind and gentle towards us although my mom would beg to differ :P but still he has always been kind, caring and gentle to us. During my growing up years, I hardly get a scolding from him. When that does happen it only means we did something majorly wrong or his level of patience was tested. As I've mentioned before that he is a very caring person too especially when we fall sick or need his help to solve a problem or get something. Oh, and also he is the cook in our family. See how he pamper my mom so much? Hmph!

I will always remember those times when I would be chauffeur-driven by my dad to tuition, piano classes or ballet classes. Those quiet and private moments together will always be cherished. Although some people still change at least according to my mom he is more stubborn now that before. So Daddy, even though you are more stubborn please continue to take your supplements, stay strong and continue to make us proud. I love you very much and looking forward to celebrate many more birthdays together with you!

Birthdays won't be completed without a cake and some singing.

My beloved Daddy cutting the cake.

Joseph suddenly pointed his finger to the camera and Elizabeth still in a bad mood just after her nap.

We went for dinner at Wok and Pan at Bandar Hilir. Joseph trying to steal my food.

And he managed to steal some!

Elizabeth can't get enough of her ice blended drink. The place was so packed, we had to wait to be seated and I think they really need to expand the place.

From the restaurant, we could see the Menara Taming Sari and Elizabeth begged and begged for us to let her go on it. So here we are on the way to the tower. Can you see how happy Elizabeth is?

Getting closer to the tower. Excited children walking ahead of us.

While waiting for our turn to go in, I took a picture of the passengers exiting the tower.

This little one got restless and nearly escape!

The tickets. I didn't agree to enter after I heard the total amount for the tickets until the lady asked, "Are you a Malaccan?". We got half price! Luckily my IC still has the Malacca address. So the tickets were RM51 for the whole family.

Elizabeth couldn't wait. It's her first time but not for Hubby and me. We went on this ride in Hong Kong Ocean Park before.

Joseph is getting restless again trying to make an escape.

You think I can't climb, Pa pa?

That's the door to enter and exit.

We had to wait for the seats to be full before they can start the ride. So this little dahling became even more restless and started climbing.

My parents looked so happy here like a couple on a date. Hehe.

Ok the ride is starting and we're off! Once the ride started, Joseph became still. LOL.

We can see the Malacca's public pool from way up here.

That's Dataran Pahlawan and Mahkota Parade.

View of shops below and Holiday Inn Melaka.

That's the ship museum, Fleur de La Mer...I think! LOL.

Took this on the way out after the ride.

As soon as we exit, we saw this and children couldn't resist. Sigh! We parents really have to work part-time! So while waiting for their ride because all of them were taken up, Joseph climbed unto a faulty one. LOL.

They finally got their turn and Elizabeth chose this white BMW. Not bad taste at all!

Just look at my nephew, Benjamin, pushing them here and there although the car is battery operated.

From that open area where the car rides were, we can also see the tower up close..moving up and down. This one looks like UFO don't you think?

Now the 'UFO' is going higher..

..and it's at the top already!

Not forgetting the beautifully decorated and lighted beca, well-known in Malacca. All waiting nearby for their next customer.

Shiny happy children.

They looked so cute from the back, I just had to take this picture.

So long fellas, I'm off for another ride!